Diggin’ In The Dirt…

dirtphoto7I love working in the dirt.  The weeding, sweating and making things look clean and beautiful is incredible to me.  I had the opportunity to work with my dad yesterday in a flower garden that was well overgrown with multitudes of different flowers, bushes, trees, bugs and vines.   As we were cleaning out the flower garden and taking breaks due to the heat, we had some time to talk.  We discussed a range of things from the flower garden to addiction and healing as well as sickness, death and family.  Honestly, when I got to the garden I thought, “I really do not want to do this because it is so hot and humid,” but my dad came over to help and I could not turn him down.  What a wonderful person he is and what a wonderful day I had with him.  After we got done, I was so thankful I did not turn away the help, as the garden looked clean and beautiful.  There were also a lot of wonderful words spoken between he and I.
I used to harbor things within, thinking I could do it all on my own.  Each time I was hurt, Iwalls2 would keep things in more and more in order to build a wall of protection around myself.  The wall got so tall and so thick, I became blind.  I continued allowing myself no feelings and ignoring pain that I endured as a child.  Therefore, I brought this behavior into adulthood and even in raising my children.  Holding on to and not processing my hurts in childhood ultimately left me unequipped later on in life when stressful or unfavorable situations arose.  Through my journey, however, I learned to face my past pain and most importantly, to keep my wall down and feel walls1joy, peace, happiness, pain, sadness, frustration and yes even anger.  Life is hard and full of choices.  I have made good choices and I have made bad choices.  That is okay because I have turned my life around and I am keeping the wall down, facing life ONE DAY AT A TIME.  It is NEVER too late!  I have learned it is so important to lean on the people in my life to help me get through the hard times and help me in my time of need.
As the sweat poured and the digging continued I could not help dirtphoto4but think of Someone else in the garden who was sweating blood praying the cup would pass from Him.  Again, I am so thankful He did not leave the garden and stayed there for me.  He stayed to make us clean and beautiful.  With Him staying, we are able to learn how to live this life to get to the next.  We are human and in our humanness we are given forgiveness, joy and peace.  We can daily speak with Him of our trials and tribulations.  Let us be mindful of our walls and lets knock them down!  We are here for you at Recovery Through Rediscovery.  We want to hear from you and help you tear down your wall, getting rid of the addiction that clings to you so tightly.  Learn how to live with the joy and peace we are promised.
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Lost & Searching…

lost2Have you ever lost anything? Anything at all? Well, this morning was my morning to lose something! I spent an hour and half this morning looking for keys that I had misplaced. Yes, I was late leaving to get where I needed to be. I called my husband asking him if he had seen them. I was told nicely I need to make sure I put things back in their proper place. Thinking to myself, I thought I did! Frustration, anger at myself for misplacing them, humiliation with admission of misplacing the keys and bewilderment of what to do were soon the emotions that were taking over. I still have not found them but gave up my search. I was running around in circles from one place to another looking for them, not once but several times I would lost5look in the same spot. This made me take a step back and put perspective on the many “real people” who are lost and searching and not just on the set of keys. Real people, real family members who are searching for loved ones that are in the throes of addiction.

To be lost means to be unable to find one’s way, not knowing one’s whereabouts, going around in circles. I could not help but remember I have been in this place in life. Totally lost, going in circles of controlling, lost3trying to fix things and trying to find my child who was lost in addiction. I began the search of looking everywhere to try and find the answers. The life lessons of pain, joy, and peace I found through my journey has made me understand there is Another who is in full control. I have been told the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again expecting different results. Well, during this time in my life this word fit me to a tee. What is ironic is that I was looking for someone who was lost and then I realized I myself was lost. Through my journey I experienced the same things as I did this morning such as anger, frustration, lost1humiliation, and bewilderment. I was so lost living the life of insanity that I could not find the path to get me out. When I was searching for my keys this morning I was reminded of how lost I was just a few short years ago. I might have given up the search for my keys this morning, but thankfully I did not give up the search God was leading me on. He started helping me find the lighted path by putting people in my life to help guide me, teach me, showing me the power of prayer, the encouragement of journaling and trusting Him.

Misty Morning PathwayCan you relate to losing something in life? Are you searching and cannot find your way to the lighted path? Are you lost in addiction or do you have a family member lost? We are ready to serve you or your family member today! You have found a way through Recovery Through Rediscovery! Our team is ready to help, please reach out!!

Traveling A Different Direction…

The dictionary defines courage as the ability to do something that frightens one.courage8 HOPE gave me the COURAGE to turn my life around. Through controlling everything around me I developed some bad habits. Bad habits that I didn’t even realize until my true journey began. I started with one layer and guess what? More came!! Was I scared to turn? ABSOLUTELY!   I had thoughts of doubt in my head because there was so much involved. Believe me…there was DEFINITELY more courage6than one time of doubt internally, can we say 100 times of doubt?!?! In spite of those doubts, my HOPE kept me focused and the word kept me trusting.

Romans 12:2

And do not be conformed to this world but be transformed by the renewing of your mind so that you may prove what the will of God is, that which is good and acceptable and perfect. 

Why did I continue to trust in myself? I mean, I was doing a great job of going nowhere! I molded myself to this world believing what I had been told. If it feels good, do it and/or “Just do it!” Right…that was really working well for me thus far! How well is that method working for you? Yet again, even though I knew my way was not working, I was so scared to turn it all around. I was scared to really give all that control away. hope3If I am being honest with myself and with you, I was really scared to know the real me or the me I thought was going to be there. Was I good enough? Can you tell I was holding onto that control as long as I could?! Could I really give up that control? Could I really give away what comforted me? It was so dark, so lonely and I was so tired. I was SO tired of faking life and thinking everything was okay and even worthitworse making everyone else think my life was okay. I had a lot of “why” questions, but only one answer kept coming to the forefronts of my mind… Once I received the HOPE I was searching for, turning is what seemed natural to do, no matter how much I wanted to fight it.

Proverbs 3:5-6

Trust in the Lord with all your heart.  And do not lean on your own understanding.  In all your ways, acknowledge Him, And He will make your paths straight.

 No, I don’t have all the answers, but I know Someone who does. Someone far greater than anyone in this world. I am so relieved I can live today and not worry about tomorrow. turndirectionblogpicThere is so much pain and suffering as it is! Why add more to our daily lives? We can be FREE! We do not have to look ahead. How about you? Are you ready to be FREE? Are you ready to reach out and give us a call? The team at Recovery Through Rediscovery is here with open arms ready to walk with you through your journey from addiction. We hope you seek the challenge of living life one day at a time, knowing we do not have to have all the answers. We cannot wait to hear from you!

 God Bless!!

The Smallest GRAIN of Faith

Matthew 17:20 And He said to them, “Because of the littleness of your faith; for truly I confidentfaith.jpgsay to you, if you have faith the size of a mustard seed, you will say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there,’ and it will move; and nothing will be impossible to you.”

Yes, there is HOPE! And this verse tells me so. A “little” MUSTARD SEED OF FAITH is all you need to maintain the hope we strive to keep through life’s trials and tribulations. Life is not easy. It never has been and it never will be. Different situations arise all the time and we all deal with these circumstances differently. Once I let go of my pride and admitted I was powerless, I gave it all over to God. The control that has been an issue for me took great focus on God to let go of and a tremendous amount of FAITH in Him to see me through. In actually releasing everything over to God, there is relief. I know that no matter what happens, God has everything under control.   So, I stay in constant prayer, I journal and I talk with others I trust to help me through the struggles. This is an extraordinary change, not trusting in myself but in what scripture tells me. In 2 Corinthians 12:9 we read, “And He said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for power is perfected in weakness.’ Most gladly, therefore, I will rather boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may dwell in me.” I feel the POWER in this verse! Can you feel the power? I am weak and I can boast about it! Through MY WEAKNESS, I find HIS POWER to keep moving forward and to live the life I have been called by HIM to live. Hope and faith are two of the many beautiful promises we have been given by the grace of God. His hand is stretched out for us to grasp, to walk with Him as He leads us down the paths He has set for us. We DO NOT know what is ahead, but we DO KNOW we can have the help we need if we will just LET GO and LET GOD (have faith.)

Philippians 4:13 “For I can do all things through Him who strengthens me.”

My hope in starting Recovery Through Rediscovery is that I may reach out to others who want to find the hope they are seeking, to be lifted out of an abysmal life of hopelessness and to show them, with compassion and love, that it can be done. There is no shame here. We all have stories of the past and I would love the opportunity to hear yours, all the while learning beneficial ways to get through this life. I saw a quote today which stated: Life is not about waiting for the storm to pass but learning to dance in the rain. Come travel your journey with us! We are here with our hands out and ready to hold on through your journey, RAIN OR SHINE. I am reaching out and hope to hear from you soon!

hopeindarkness.jpgPhilippians 1:6 “For I am confident of this very thing, that He who began a good work in you will perfect it until the day of Christ Jesus.”

 

God Bless

I am POWERLESS

Yes, I am POWERLESS. Wow, that one statement is HARD to say to yourself, much less admit to others! I am reminded of the verse that says, “Pride ends in a fall, while humility brings honor.”  (Proverbs 29:23).

As I stated last week, coming out of denial was a whole new experience for me. Actually feeling my feelings and working through each feeling that came my way was enlightening. There is freedom in experiencing all the emotions God has given us, processing them as they come, praying for understanding and giving all circumstances over to God. When coming out of denial, I was told to “stop denying the pain.” It’s okay to hurt, be angry, get frustrated, burst with happiness and truly live feeling all of the emotions God has given us. I had to stop denying I had feelings and YES, deal with the pain that I was causing others and the pain others were causing me. I was so blinded by my own need for control as well as the constant fear and anxiety of trying to prove to myself that everything was fine. I really thought if I didn’t say anything, no one would know and you know what, they didn’t for the most part. All these feelings I was keeping buried in myself were literally killing me with stress, anxiety, worry, fear, resentment, and anger. Once I took off the mask and started being honest with myself and with God that my life had become unmanageable, I was finally able to be honest with others. I admitted I was and I am POWERLESS.  There went my PRIDE!  I was able to stand up and admit, “Life is not easy. I am drowning. I need God!”

“Pity me, O Lord, for I am weak. Heal me, for my body is sick, and I am upset and disturbed. My mind is filled with apprehension and with gloom”. (Psalms 6:2-3)

Soon, I found there were others eager to pray for me, to love me, and to walk with me.  I learned of others who were struggling with the same things I was struggling with. The more I let go, the more I understood God wants us to be there for one another and not standing alone.

“Two are better than one because they have a good return for their labor. For if either of them falls, the one will lift up his companion. But woe to the one who falls when there is not another to lift him up”. (Ecclesiastes 4:9-10)

Releasing ALL over to God has given me freedom, hope, and a firm rock to stand on while living through life’s trials and tribulations. Let’s face it, we all have days that are just hard to get through, but we do not have to go through them alone any longer. Take the mask off! Trust that God has everything under control and will see you through whatever you are going through.  We are all POWERLESS.  He still loves us despite that. No matter how I try to control my day and/or my life, I am always brought back by knowing Who is before me. I love the song Already There by Casting Crowns. The words ring so true. See them below in bold!

From where I’m standing Lord it’s so hard for me to see Where this is goin’ And where You’re leading me I wish I knew how All my fears and all my questions Are gonna play out In a world I can’t control

When I’m lost in the mystery To You my future is a memory Cause You’re already there You’re already there Standing at the end of my life Waiting on the other side And You’re already there You’re already there

From where You’re standing Lord, You see a grand design That You imagined When You breathed me into life And all the chaos Comes together in Your hands Like a masterpiece Of Your picture perfect plan When I’m lost in the mystery To You my future is a memory Cause You’re already there You’re already there Standing at the end of my life Waiting on the other side And You’re already there You’re already there

One day I’ll stand before you And look back on the life I’ve lived I can’t wait to enjoy the view And see how all the pieces fit One day I’ll stand before you Look back on the life I’ve lived Cause You’re already there You’re already there When I’m lost in the mystery To you my future is a memory Cause you’re already there Already there Standing at the end of my life Waiting on the other side And you’re already there You’re already there

May God bless you all. Please, if we can help in any way, give us a call. You can also send me an email. I am ready whenever you are! To God be the glory!

Denial…

I have been a Christian a long time. I thought myself well versed in scripture and how to live life. However, through God’s revealing truth I learned something about myself that would end up changing my life forever. I realized I was in complete and utter DENIAL. What is denial? The dictionary defines denial as the action of declaring something to be untrue. I was sinking down into an abyss when I first learned of the addiction my child was consumed with. I was desperately seeking any kind of help I could find.  Then, a sister in Christ introduced me to a recovery program. I went out of desperation to learn how to fix the problem in my child’s life. When I left, I thought, I am not one of “those people”. I did not return for months. Again, I became desperate after trying everything in my power to fix the problem and getting nowhere. That is when I went back to the recovery program. After going several months, I began to learn and truly understand I did not need to fix my child, but I needed to fix myself. I was so lost in my need for control, the anxiety I felt constantly, the fear of what may happen, and the doubt that constantly plagued my mind. I could not see my true self much less how I put God in a compartment and pulled Him out at my convenience. I now know things, events, and circumstances happen to us in life and blinds us to truth. Addiction is not linked solely to alcohol or drugs alone. Addiction has many, many forms that in essence become the idols in our lives.

“For I know that good itself does not dwell in me, that is, in my sinful nature. For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out.” (Romans 7:18)

As I was coming out of denial I actually began to feel emotions I had never felt before and to be honest I did not want to be feeling them. I was feeling anger, frustration, hurt, sadness, and doubt. I fought a good fight, though and tried to remain in denial. I was so used to burying these feelings by controlling my life and the lives of others around me. I just kept trying to take back the control. I now understand that by remaining in denial, I kept myself from the true person God intended me to be. I was living my life trying to control everyone and trying to fix everything around me. This was making me fearful and anxious because things were not going the way I thought they should go. I was worn out and frankly was getting nowhere. I then realized this was keeping me from growing in my faith and relationships with my family and others.

In time I learned God can manage everything perfectly and to His glory. There are still days that I struggle with my fears, doubts and anxiety, but now I know how to keep God first and foremost in my life. He is awesome and I love watching Him work in me and in the lives of everyone around me.

Are you in denial? Do you have struggles you would like to get off your chest? Do you want to rid yourself of the overwhelming? Does it all seem lost? I was there too. I am here to pray and listen. I am here to help you take a leap of faith. If I can help, please leave me a message!

“God is light; in Him there is no darkness at all. If we claim to have fellowship with Him yet walk in darkness, we lie and do not live out the truth. But if we walk in the light, as He is in the light we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus, His Son, purifies us from all sin.” (1 John 1:5-7)

Until next time…

God Bless

Recovery Through Rediscovery

…we ALL need recovering…

What exactly does this title mean, you may be thinking.  What needs recovering, you may ask yourself.  The answer is that we ALL need recovering.  It is truly my honor to welcome you to this blog.  Recovery Through Rediscovery is a faith-based, mind, body and soul transforming facility, created for young women who have known the debilitating struggle of addiction, young women who have known the grief of loss and the powerlessness that often comes with it, young women who have felt overwhelming panic when control is not maintained and for any young woman who has felt broken, but does not know how to rebuild and repair.  It is my deepest prayer that anything you read here will help you in your time of need, make you laugh when humor is low, give you hope when you feel you have none and, most importantly, show you the glorious love of our Savior, Jesus Christ, Whose divine power and love can not only heal your broken soul, but give you the peace of mind and freedom from sin that you so strongly desire.  God Bless each and everyone of you who read this, everyone of you who yearns to know more about Christ as well as everyone of you that feel no hope.  I am praying for you already.  Can you hear Him?  He is calling!  Will you answer?  .

Philippians 4:13  “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.”