I am POWERLESS

Yes, I am POWERLESS. Wow, that one statement is HARD to say to yourself, much less admit to others! I am reminded of the verse that says, “Pride ends in a fall, while humility brings honor.”  (Proverbs 29:23).

As I stated last week, coming out of denial was a whole new experience for me. Actually feeling my feelings and working through each feeling that came my way was enlightening. There is freedom in experiencing all the emotions God has given us, processing them as they come, praying for understanding and giving all circumstances over to God. When coming out of denial, I was told to “stop denying the pain.” It’s okay to hurt, be angry, get frustrated, burst with happiness and truly live feeling all of the emotions God has given us. I had to stop denying I had feelings and YES, deal with the pain that I was causing others and the pain others were causing me. I was so blinded by my own need for control as well as the constant fear and anxiety of trying to prove to myself that everything was fine. I really thought if I didn’t say anything, no one would know and you know what, they didn’t for the most part. All these feelings I was keeping buried in myself were literally killing me with stress, anxiety, worry, fear, resentment, and anger. Once I took off the mask and started being honest with myself and with God that my life had become unmanageable, I was finally able to be honest with others. I admitted I was and I am POWERLESS.  There went my PRIDE!  I was able to stand up and admit, “Life is not easy. I am drowning. I need God!”

“Pity me, O Lord, for I am weak. Heal me, for my body is sick, and I am upset and disturbed. My mind is filled with apprehension and with gloom”. (Psalms 6:2-3)

Soon, I found there were others eager to pray for me, to love me, and to walk with me.  I learned of others who were struggling with the same things I was struggling with. The more I let go, the more I understood God wants us to be there for one another and not standing alone.

“Two are better than one because they have a good return for their labor. For if either of them falls, the one will lift up his companion. But woe to the one who falls when there is not another to lift him up”. (Ecclesiastes 4:9-10)

Releasing ALL over to God has given me freedom, hope, and a firm rock to stand on while living through life’s trials and tribulations. Let’s face it, we all have days that are just hard to get through, but we do not have to go through them alone any longer. Take the mask off! Trust that God has everything under control and will see you through whatever you are going through.  We are all POWERLESS.  He still loves us despite that. No matter how I try to control my day and/or my life, I am always brought back by knowing Who is before me. I love the song Already There by Casting Crowns. The words ring so true. See them below in bold!

From where I’m standing Lord it’s so hard for me to see Where this is goin’ And where You’re leading me I wish I knew how All my fears and all my questions Are gonna play out In a world I can’t control

When I’m lost in the mystery To You my future is a memory Cause You’re already there You’re already there Standing at the end of my life Waiting on the other side And You’re already there You’re already there

From where You’re standing Lord, You see a grand design That You imagined When You breathed me into life And all the chaos Comes together in Your hands Like a masterpiece Of Your picture perfect plan When I’m lost in the mystery To You my future is a memory Cause You’re already there You’re already there Standing at the end of my life Waiting on the other side And You’re already there You’re already there

One day I’ll stand before you And look back on the life I’ve lived I can’t wait to enjoy the view And see how all the pieces fit One day I’ll stand before you Look back on the life I’ve lived Cause You’re already there You’re already there When I’m lost in the mystery To you my future is a memory Cause you’re already there Already there Standing at the end of my life Waiting on the other side And you’re already there You’re already there

May God bless you all. Please, if we can help in any way, give us a call. You can also send me an email. I am ready whenever you are! To God be the glory!

Denial…

I have been a Christian a long time. I thought myself well versed in scripture and how to live life. However, through God’s revealing truth I learned something about myself that would end up changing my life forever. I realized I was in complete and utter DENIAL. What is denial? The dictionary defines denial as the action of declaring something to be untrue. I was sinking down into an abyss when I first learned of the addiction my child was consumed with. I was desperately seeking any kind of help I could find.  Then, a sister in Christ introduced me to a recovery program. I went out of desperation to learn how to fix the problem in my child’s life. When I left, I thought, I am not one of “those people”. I did not return for months. Again, I became desperate after trying everything in my power to fix the problem and getting nowhere. That is when I went back to the recovery program. After going several months, I began to learn and truly understand I did not need to fix my child, but I needed to fix myself. I was so lost in my need for control, the anxiety I felt constantly, the fear of what may happen, and the doubt that constantly plagued my mind. I could not see my true self much less how I put God in a compartment and pulled Him out at my convenience. I now know things, events, and circumstances happen to us in life and blinds us to truth. Addiction is not linked solely to alcohol or drugs alone. Addiction has many, many forms that in essence become the idols in our lives.

“For I know that good itself does not dwell in me, that is, in my sinful nature. For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out.” (Romans 7:18)

As I was coming out of denial I actually began to feel emotions I had never felt before and to be honest I did not want to be feeling them. I was feeling anger, frustration, hurt, sadness, and doubt. I fought a good fight, though and tried to remain in denial. I was so used to burying these feelings by controlling my life and the lives of others around me. I just kept trying to take back the control. I now understand that by remaining in denial, I kept myself from the true person God intended me to be. I was living my life trying to control everyone and trying to fix everything around me. This was making me fearful and anxious because things were not going the way I thought they should go. I was worn out and frankly was getting nowhere. I then realized this was keeping me from growing in my faith and relationships with my family and others.

In time I learned God can manage everything perfectly and to His glory. There are still days that I struggle with my fears, doubts and anxiety, but now I know how to keep God first and foremost in my life. He is awesome and I love watching Him work in me and in the lives of everyone around me.

Are you in denial? Do you have struggles you would like to get off your chest? Do you want to rid yourself of the overwhelming? Does it all seem lost? I was there too. I am here to pray and listen. I am here to help you take a leap of faith. If I can help, please leave me a message!

“God is light; in Him there is no darkness at all. If we claim to have fellowship with Him yet walk in darkness, we lie and do not live out the truth. But if we walk in the light, as He is in the light we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus, His Son, purifies us from all sin.” (1 John 1:5-7)

Until next time…

God Bless